Dec 1

BY culture@winesalon.com.au 12/1/2009 10:41 AM 

Some wonderful things have come out of hybrids. Consider the Labradoodle bringing wheeze-free joy to asthmatic children everywhere.  Or just think, where would we be without the recent addition of ‘chillax’ to our vocabulary?  Look at the smug smile on that Prius driver in the lane next to you – he knows what I’m talking about.  So, it was with this in mind that I recently braved a culinary hybrid.  Stuck in the outer reaches of Melbourne with little options available, I found myself ordering takeaway from a Chinese Restaurant/Pizzeria.  I decided to order from the Chinese side of the menu and stuck with the staples of my suburban childhood – Honey Chicken, Beef in Black Bean Sauce and Special Fried Rice. The result? A gurgly stomach, a killer MSG-induced headache, a never quenching thirst and a strange aftertaste of tinned fruit.




After two days of a repeating pineapple, I decided there could be only one anecdote to this failed experiment, the new staples – Ants On A Tree, Jasmine Tea-Smoked Duck, oh, and one Special Fried Rice, please. The already initiated will recognise these as the staples of Ants Bistro, the always reliable, good-value Szechwan restaurant, off Chinatown. And sure enough, it took only one mouthful of pork mince, chilli and vermicelli to remember why it is I love Chinese food, and why I will never eat at a hybrid restaurant again.

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